Why ME??

A simple eternal constant, is considering ourselves the product of some divine joke. I've had my share of tragedies, in which there was nothing I could've done to prevent them, nor to make them happen. My worst experiences come from the fact that I didn't make a mistake, I didn't do something wrong, a crisis just rose and I was in the middle of a scary storm, alone, lost and hopeless.

What happened to me can't be compared to what others have suffered, nor what they have overcome. My experience matters only to me, the experience itself can't proof nor diminish anything. What can be somewhat of an example is the fact that basically no matter how big it was, now it's over, due to my own work, to time or to fate itself; crisis have come and go. We don't like them, we don't know what to do with them, yet if we knew, the word problem, crisis or trouble wouldn't exist.

Our mistakes are meant to cause us pain and in such situations we know we are not supposed to complain, if we might be allowed to cry. Dante depicted two things in hell, the fact of a life of mistakes and the fact of not regretting them, no matter the pain, tears came out from the spirits due to the pain that was inflicted to them but not because they saw their lives and had learned a lesson, not even in such excruciating suffering they were not humble enough to acknowledge the fact that they were wrong.

But when there is no mistake from our part and the whips of fate thunder our backs and make us bleed from our hearts to our tears; making a scared child out of the strongest one. The fact is that we never asked to be born either, nor to grow. We never wanted to stop being children nor to feel hunger, heat, exhaustion or pain. All of these experiences as universal as them might seem, have a special meaning to each person. The only way to overcome them, is to accept the challenge, never looking back, you can't expect things to go back to your "golden years". Or even worse to believe that hope is over.

Things always end, nothing is forever, our only resource is to learn, to take the bitter cup and let it go through until it's over. It doesn't matter why, what matters is the fact that you'll learn to overcome it.

Salud, mes amis



Buried at PhotoCasket

Why?

It used to be the only question I wanted to ask. My biggest issue is that I need to know, to understand. Behaviour first, nature later, and God definitely.

There was also the creepy fact of mortality, an idea that destroys my energy, my biggest weakness, and nobody really sees it. Some how that's why I use all these things. I can't accept that I'm nothing else but a whisper in space and time, that the energy that drives, pushes and holds me together will be stopped, unevolved, unnable to become more. I need to believe in something bigger than me, yet also of everything human.

I can't offer my obedience to a man that says he can save my spirit, or teach me how to live rightfuly, when I can see his/her flaws, and they still demand to be followed and respected. NO, plain and simple. It's not that I don't believe, but do you really stop loving someone even if they've done you wrong? You ache, you'd be heartbroken for a while, but later, you'll forgive, learn your lesson, and hopefuly you'll be able to teach them one. If somehow we are similar to God, I believe that is in this sense, and no other. Anger? Revenge? Control? They don't sound divine to me.

I don't want to know why anymore, because in all my questions, I know that I'll understand all the reasons, just after I died.

Salud amigos.

Buried at PhotoCasket this image was taken from photocasket.com